THE OCEAN OF LIFE THAT IS MY MIND

“You’re so fragile tonight, been up hurting.. all night.. It’s not trivial, like they think.. Yes, you’re desperate and you’re hurt..”

For all those struggling with life: Manic Street Preachers’ You’re Tender and You’re Tired. This is not a great fan video, but it’s the only one I really found. Love.

Manic Street Preachers - You’re Tender and You’re Tired

You’re so fragile tonight
Been up hurting, all night
It’s not trivial like they think
Yes, you’re desperate and you’re hurt

Thought about it so many times
Too afraid to open your eyes
To see the sadness that’s inside
Just sit back in and stop time

You’re tender and you’re tired
You can’t be bothered to decide
Whether you live or die
Or just forget about your life

But it’s too late to be real
No time to be strong enough
Just time to leave it all behind
Memory has become pain

Rebuild the void with flowers
Sad-eyed destruction built around sand and sea
Yes, you can build your yourself around me
Build yourself around me, yourself around me

You’re tender and you’re tired
You can’t be bothered to decide
Whether you live or die
Or just forget about your life

You’re tender and you’re tired
You can’t be bothered to decide
Whether you live or die
Or just forget about your life

You’re tender and you’re tired
You can’t be bothered to decide
Whether you live or die
Or just forget about your life

You’re tender and you’re tired
You can’t be bothered to decide
Whether you live or die
Or just forget about your life
Drift away and die
Never say goodbye
Drift away and die
Never say goodbye
Drift away and die
Never say goodbye
Drift away and die

I have just posted a previously yet-to-be-posted piece of writing: This Chainmail is a Sheath. I actually wrote this poem about a year ago, after watching Robin Hood by Ridley Scott.

I had not posted this as I have been so busy for so long that I have not really had the time to post the little creative stuff I’d written.

I just caught Guan Yun Chang [the not-so-apt English title is The Lost Bladesman] on the life of the famous general and fighter Guan Yu.

My favourite part of the following trailier is around 1:00 where he flips the heavy guandao around his body.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA2NETUFkc0&playnext=1&list=PL0B5541909639B66A

I think the poem I wrote is kinda apt for this story or film as well.

By the way, if you still don’t know me well enough to know, I love Mediaeval history [European or East Asian], and I love the stories of Guan Yu and the other characters of the Three Kingdoms era.

To be true to the time of writing, I have posted it as a 7 June 2010 entry. If you are interested to read the poem, you’d have to scroll down til then or search for it :)

God bless.

p.s. Thank you, Jonathan Sim, for clarifying the Latin.

‎“And I’m caught up in.. the Crossfire.. of Heaven and Hell..” I have been listening to this song over and over, on repeat. Says something..

This song was actually the solo debut single of Brandon Flowers, frontman of awesome band The Killers, which I also love a lot.

It also has a quirky video if you wanna check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AhU12zC8fc

Crossfire - Brandon Flowers

There’s a still in the street outside your window
You’re keeping secrets on your pillow
Let me inside, no cause for alarm
I promise tonight not to do no harm
Yeah I promise you babe, I won’t do you no harm

And we’re caught up in the crossfire
Of heaven and hell
And we’re searching for shelter

Lay your body down
Lay your body down
Lay your body down

Watching you dress as you turn down the lights
I forget all about the storm outside
Dark clouds roll their way over town
Heartache and pain came a-pouring down
Like hail, sleet and rain, they’re handing it out

We’re caught up in the crossfire
Of heaven and hell
And we’re searching for shelter

Lay your body down
Lay your body down
Lay your body down

Lay your body down
Lay your body down
Lay your body down

Tell the devil that he can go back from where he came
His fiery arrows drew their bead in vein
And when the hardest part is over we’ll be here
And our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear
The boundaries of our fear

Lay your body down
Lay your body down
Lay your body down

Lay your body down
Lay your body down
Lay your body down

Next to mine

Shane: I love you more than the guy on Titanic..

Me: Whuutt?

Another classic line from Shane. Boom commented, “Unsinkable love!” :D

Damn you, Adjustment Bureau! Let me find her already! >:O

Honestly, watching the show made me think of her yet again. Sigh, why do I even? It’s futile. It has been about 8 years since I had seen her. Sometimes I do wonder if circumstance is conspiring to keep us apart. It can’t be that no one I know from her parish knows her. Damn you, Adjustment Bureau! Seriously, what does it even matter? It has been so many years. She probably doesn’t even remember me anyway. Even in the remote chance she does, she is such a catch, she’s probably married by now. Sigh.

Recently I have also come across this song by Train, Marry Me, which I really love. I love the heartfelt lyrics. Also, the line “if I ever get the nerve to say hello..” in a way sort of applies to me, and her.

The video also reminds me of her and when I met her, though it wasn’t in a cafe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU

Marry Me - Train

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I’ve had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won’t let them see
But there’s one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way

Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say “Hello” in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you
And you’re beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way

Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say “Hello” in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will

Promise me
You’ll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say “Hello” in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will

Marry me

This song somehow came into my head. How apt for this time of night. Erasure has the most heartachingly tender and beautiful music & lyrics. Those were the days. This goes out to all the lonely, the insane, the hopeless, the resigned & the lovelorn.

Stay With Me - Erasure

Tempered by greed, tall buildings breathe
Give a sigh of relief when it’s night
[Stirring from sleep, we night owls creep
Is there any sign of life under this stone]
Star chime hollow & true.
Love, child..

Weep for me.. and I will cast your wheels in motion
Walk with me.. the inner reaches of emotion

Sheltered by creed, one piled on one
Do you have a little room for one small one
Light shine wild & free
Sun, rise..

Weep for me.. and I will fill you with devotion
Walk with me.. the inner reaches of emotion

Weep for me.. the sands of time will fill the ocean
Keep with me.. and like a roller on the ocean
Stand by me.. and I will fill you with devotion
Walk with me.. the inner reaches of emotion

The sands of time will fill the ocean
Keep with me.. and rays of sunshine fill the ocean
Stand by me..

- Music & Lyrics by Vince Clarke & Andy Bell

Anyone up for Scott Weiland & Stone Temple Pilots at Big Day Out, 11 March, Indoor Stadium? Grungeheads in the ’90s who loved the Seattle Grunge Sound will know how monumental this grunge rock band is :)